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The real world doesn't apply.” Crewdates, she said, gave men the excuse to behave like overgrown children: “I've never seen men (and in this case it's always the men) behave so badly in restaurants and afterwards: almost Bullingdon-style rudeness to waiters, smacking the tables, ordering people around.” Maybe it’s testosterone, and testing the boundaries of acceptability.
But I find it incredible that intelligent people think this kind of thing could ever touch on the boundaries of OK-dom. They do recognise the problems that social networking around crewdating can pose, saying they don’t tolerate sexism and take down anything that has been reported, or is abusive.
“The guy was considered a massive lad who achieved the best possible thing a man could hope to achieved on a crew date.
The young lady who did exactly the same thing was viewed as having embarrassed herself at best and called some nasty names behind her back.” People forget that the Bullingdon Club dining (read: drinking) society is only a dozen or so males out of the whole university.
Side effects may include vomiting, the transmission of sexually transmitted infections, and failing academically.” Miserably unsurprising are the stories of sexist behaviour that seem to be ingrained in crewdates.
This echoes research released last month by the University of Sussex on the effect of “lad culture” on women in UK universities – a “ ‘pack culture’ evident in activities such as sport and heavy alcohol consumption, and ‘banter’, which was often sexist, misogynistic and homophobic.” On – a social network for organising crewdates at Oxford and Durham, set up by three graduates – one male team from Oxford wrote that the girls they were dating offered, “good chat, good looks, and some f**king brutal sconces […] Emboldened, we set off with hope in our hearts and fetherlite condoms in our pockets.” But are we right to complain about hotbeds of sexism, and is it all just a jolly jape? Can we call ourselves feminists whilst putting ourselves into situations where “lad culture” thrives?
So, you have two individuals doing the exact same thing, reciprocating back and forth.One current member of The Spritzers said it was “not the men’s fault” if you allow yourself to feel objectified: “Absolutely you can be a feminist and a crewdater at the same time, to the extent that the two are really nothing to do with each other […] Being a feminist is about being free to be whatever kind of woman you want, and a more confident woman has no trouble keeping up with the 'banter'.If you let yourself feel objectified or patronised, that's not the men's fault.” When asked if she was a feminist herself, the same student said she was “not sure”.What is needed is to use that normalisation to the benefit healthy goals.Have the banter challenge sexism, rape jokes, victim blaming, and misogyny.” Challenging the banter can be tricky though.